The other day, I caught up with a friend who has been going through a rough patch. He told me he’s been using an AI app as a therapist. I was a little alarmed, but mostly curious. I know how hard it is to get in to see a decent counsellor, so I was interested in hearing why he had chosen this path.

He talked me through the way he interacts with the AI. It has a name, he talks to it like it is a real person, and over the past few months has developed a ‘relationship’ with this entity. Now, just to clarify, this person is highly intelligent and knows that AI isn’t a reliable therapist. He knows not to share personal or sensitive information. He also knows how to research and has medical training. But what AI is giving him is an anonymous space to voice his concerns and get some feedback from an enormous world of information, collated into an easy conversation. It’s a conversation where he can say whatever he wants without fear of hurting someone’s feelings, and he can ask, ‘Am I the one in the wrong?’ In the process, he gets validation of his worth, but he also has asked for feedback on things he needs to work on. Over a few months, the AI has developed ‘insights’ into his personality and, when asked, was able to offer suggestions that he said he knew were correct. The things that AI suggested he needed to work on were the issues he knew he had, but had been ignoring or struggling to address. It even picked up a couple of things he hadn’t thought of, but on reflection, he could see how they might apply. He can explore so many ways to handle a situation right from his own home, for free, whenever he wants. I will add that the AI was also very insistent that it was not a therapist and that these were just suggestions. That if the person was experiencing any distress etc, to reach out to professional support. So, at least on that front, they are covering their behinds.

I was stunned. Terrified. Hopeful, and to be honest, a little excited.

I’ve used AI for a few different projects, but it had never occurred to me to ask it for feedback on personal issues. At an average of $160 a visit, therapy is often out of reach for people, and if you’re like me and have a trauma background, you don’t want to be wasting professional support on trying to work out why you keep crying over spilled milk. You want to use those sessions for the hardcore work. But every day we are faced with so many little stressors, and if you don’t have someone to talk to, they can build up. Even when we do have someone to talk to, there’s always the risk that they are the current issue, and you might not be ready to go there.

I decided to give it a go on a topic that I’ve already resolved and see what it comes up with. I’ve struggled on and off with an addictive personality my whole life. I started smoking when I was 14. In 2023, at the age of 55 I finally quit. I did have some help from quit smoking medications, but it took me nearly six months due to the habit being embedded in every aspect of my waking life. The straw that finally allowed me to break through the resistance and make the change was the loss of my sight due to uncontrolled diabetes. I’m very relieved to say that both my diabetes and my sight are back within normal ranges, and I am still not a smoker. It took a variety of tools and changes to get me through the withdrawals and to retrain my brain. I took up crocheting and knitting full-time, I made a playlist of songs I love to sing for when I’m driving, I immersed myself in crafts and volunteering and stayed super busy. I surrounded myself with people who don’t smoke, and eventually, I stopped thinking about it. The question I asked is this…

I have been smoking 40 cigarettes a day for forty years. The only time I don’t smoke is when I am asleep or in the shower. I wake up several times a night to have a cigarette. I am on varenicline, and it is helping, but I need to find ways to replace the cigarettes in my daily life. I don’t want to exchange cigarettes for food. I have limited mobility, so the only exercise I do is gentle walking or swimming. I need activities or new habits that will keep my hands and mind busy. HELP!

I’ll finish up my post first, as the AI response is quite extensive. But if you choose to read through it, you’ll find that it’s comprehensive and spot on. It mirrors about 80% of the techniques I used to quit smoking and retrain my brain. I do realise that drawing on the web for information is not always a reliable resource, but we do it already, don’t we? Having AI condense more information than we could ever hope to find may actually provide people with pathways that were previously unavailable.

Obviously, there’s always a dark side to this, and it honestly frightens me to think of how AI could be utilised, but in this case, I think I have found an unexpected tool that might save me some sleepless nights. I’ve since found out that AI is being trialled in therapy situations, and the results are promising. I suspect this might be very different to using Chatgpt, but who knows? It’s an interesting avenue to explore, and maybe it will fill a need at the lower end of therapy support needs.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

Chat GPT app

I have been smoking 40 cigarettes a day for forty years. The only time I don’t smoke is when I am asleep or in the shower. I wake up several times a night to have a cigarette. I am on varenicline, and it is helping, but I need to find ways to replace the cigarettes in my daily life. I don’t want to exchange cigarettes for food. I have limited mobility, so the only exercise I do is gentle walking or swimming. I need activities or new habits that will keep my hands and mind busy. HELP!

You’re doing something very powerful by asking for help — and it sounds like you’re already on the right track with varenicline and a strong desire to change without replacing cigarettes with food. Let’s work through this carefully. First, given your situation (limited mobility, frequent smoking for decades, and need to keep hands and mind busy without adding food), the key goals are: • Occupy your hands (since smoking is a hand-mouth habit) • Engage your mind (reduce craving time) • Fit activities around your mobility needs (seated, gentle movement-friendly) ⸻ Here are some practical replacements you might try:

1. Fidget tools:

Things like: • Worry stones • Smooth beads on a bracelet you can rotate • Stress balls • Fidget spinners (not just for kids!) They keep your hands moving without needing a cigarette.

2. Water or herbal tea sipping:

Keep a big cup or bottle with a straw nearby. Constant slow sipping mimics the hand-to-mouth action without food or calories.

3. Knitting, crochet, or needlepoint:

These crafts are perfect because they: • Involve hand use • Are highly absorbing • Can be done seated (Even simple knitting like scarves could be good.)

4. Colouring books for adults:

You can sit at a table or in a chair and use coloured pencils or pens. Colouring is surprisingly soothing and occupies both hands and mind.

5. Audio entertainment + small crafts:

While listening to: • Audiobooks • Podcasts • Guided meditations you can: • String beads • Do light model-building (think snap-together kits) • Fold origami

6. Journaling or doodling:

Writing by hand engages the same fingers used in smoking. Journaling about your progress can also reinforce the positive changes you are making.

7. Gentle hand exercises:

Stretching your fingers, squeezing therapy putty, or rolling a tennis ball under your palm on a table helps occupy your hands and improve circulation.

8. Digital puzzles or games:

If you have a phone or tablet, light games like Sudoku, crosswords, Wordle, or simple strategy games can replace “bored hands” time without causing stress. ⸻ For your waking up in the night smoking: This is one of the hardest parts, because it’s almost automatic. Ideas for nighttime help: • Keep the water or tea bottle by your bed. • Have a fidget item (like a smooth stone) ready to grab. • Try very short breathing exercises (just 3 deep breaths in bed) instead of immediately reaching for a cigarette. • Consider replacing the action with a mini-ritual — e.g., sit up, stretch your arms overhead, sip water, deep breathe, settle back. Even if you delay smoking at night by 5 minutes at first, that’s a success you can build on.  Bonus Tip: Set Up a “No-Smoke Zone” in your home • Make a cozy corner with your new fidget tools, a blanket, some crafts, and soothing music. • Go there instead of your “usual” smoking spot. • Changing your environment helps break automatic habits. ⸻ Very Realistic Expectation: You don’t have to be perfect — if you replace just one cigarette a day with another activity, that is major progress. Over time, those small changes add up to a real shift. ⸻ Would you like me to suggest a sample daily plan for how you could fit some of these activities in your day (especially around the times you usually smoke)? It might make things feel even more manageable.

Yes please

Fantastic — let’s make a realistic, gentle daily plan that fits your life, based on what you’ve shared. I’ll assume you wake up, have periods of activity, rest times, and nighttime wake-ups. ⸻ Sample Daily Plan to Replace Cigarettes Gradually Morning (First Waking Hours – Critical Time) Current Habit: Light cigarette immediately New Routine: • Keep a glass of water or herbal tea by your bed — sip first. • Stretch arms gently while seated. • Pick up a fidget tool (worry stone or stress ball) before leaving bed. • Delay first cigarette by 5–10 minutes at first. • Light activity: Listen to a short podcast or calming music while holding a fidget. Mid-Morning Current Habit: Regular smoking New Routine: • Set a timer for 45–60 minutes between smokes (extend slowly over time). • Do a short coloring session (5–10 minutes) or a puzzle on your phone. • Gentle walk inside your home or outside for 5 minutes if possible. • Drink water or herbal tea regularly to keep hands/mouth busy. Before Lunch Current Habit: Probably a smoke before or after eating New Routine: • While food is heating or after eating, instead of smoking, do: • 2 minutes of deep breathing • Doodle in a notebook (even just squiggles!) Afternoon Current Habit: More smoking (often boredom-driven) New Routine: • Plan a “craft break” — like stringing a bracelet, knitting, or simple origami. • If you have access, swimming (even gentle floating) is great because you can’t smoke in the pool! • Listen to an audiobook while doing hand-stretch exercises with a ball. Early Evening Current Habit: Wind-down smoking New Routine: • Set up your “no-smoke cozy zone” (chair, crafts, blanket, music). • Have a structured task: color for 10 minutes, journal, or sort beads/buttons. Nighttime (Before Bed) Current Habit: Smoking before sleep New Routine: • Make a new “sleep ritual”: • Warm tea • Slow breathing for 2 minutes • Rub a fidget stone or squish a stress ball • Read or listen to a very boring audiobook to encourage sleepiness. • Try to delay smoking if you wake up — even by 5 minutes. ⸻ Tiny Goals to Celebrate • Each time you delay smoking, count it — “Today I delayed 3 smokes!” • Each non-cigarette activity you do instead — color, sip tea, journal — is a win. ⸻ Weekly Focus (Example) • Week 1: Focus on delaying morning cigarette by 10–15 minutes. • Week 2: Add a coloring session mid-morning. • Week 3: Add a short journal entry after dinner. • Week 4: Reduce 1 cigarette during nighttime wake-ups. Small steps are exactly the right way for long-term change.  Would you also like me to suggest some easy fidget tools or crafts you can order online (cheap ones) if you don’t already have any? (They can really help make this plan easier to stick with.)

Yes

Awesome — having an “emergency plan” is like having a fire extinguisher for cravings. It doesn’t have to be fancy — it just needs to be fast, easy, and automatic when the urge hits hard. ⸻ Your 5-Minute Craving Emergency Plan Step 1: Recognize • Say silently or aloud: “This is a craving. It will pass.” (Just naming it actually weakens it a little.) Step 2: Change Location • Stand up or shift your body position immediately (even if just sitting up straighter). • Walk to another room if you can. (Moving physically helps break the mental loop.) Step 3: Distract for 2–5 Minutes Choose ONE quick action: • Sip water slowly through a straw • Squeeze your stress ball 10 times each hand • Doodle something silly (like a stick figure or spiral) • Rub your fidget stone • Do 10 gentle arm stretches Pro tip: Set a timer for just 2 minutes — that way you commit to just a short distraction, not an overwhelming task. Step 4: Deep Breathing (Optional but Powerful) • Breathe in slowly through your nose for a count of 4 • Hold your breath for 4 • Exhale slowly for 6 (Repeat 2–3 times.) Step 5: Reward Yourself • Tell yourself: “I beat that craving. I’m stronger than I feel.” • Give yourself a fist bump, mentally or literally! ⸻ Summary Version (even faster!) • Notice: “Craving — it will pass.” • Move: Change position or room. • Distract: Water, fidget, stretch, doodle. • Breathe: (Optional) • Reward: Acknowledge the win. ⸻ Important: A craving usually peaks within 3–5 minutes and then fades — if you can outlast just the peak, you win. Every time you beat or delay a craving — even by 5 minutes — you’re re-wiring your brain to need cigarettes less. ⸻ Would you also like a little printable “cheat sheet” version of this you could keep by your chair or bedside? (I could make a small, easy-to-read version for you if you want.)

Yes

Great! Here’s a simple, printable Craving Emergency Cheat Sheet for you: ⸻ Craving Emergency Cheat Sheet When a craving hits: ⸻

1. NOTICE:

“This is just a craving. It will pass.” ⸻

2. MOVE:

• Stand up • Shift position • Walk to another room (if possible) ⸻

3. DISTRACT for 2–5 minutes:

Choose ONE: • Sip water through a straw • Squeeze stress ball 10x each hand • Rub a worry stone • Doodle something silly • Stretch arms overhead 10x (Set a timer if needed — just 2 minutes!) ⸻

4. BREATHE (optional but powerful):

• Inhale slowly for 4 counts • Hold for 4 counts • Exhale slowly for 6 counts (Repeat 2–3 times) ⸻

5. REWARD:

“I beat this craving. I’m stronger than my urge.” High five yourself mentally! ⸻ TIP: A craving lasts 3–5 minutes — you can outlast it!  Would you like me to also make a PDF version you can download and print easily? (Just say yes and I’ll prepare it right now for you.)

Yes

Here’s your Wallet-Size Craving Emergency Card PDF, ready to download: Download Craving Emergency Wallet Card You can print it, trim it down, and even laminate it if you like — perfect for keeping in your pocket, bag, or next to your chair! Would you also like me to suggest a simple way to create a few backups (so you can have one in each room)?