6. September 2014

Day 132 Monday 1st September Part A

I wanted to do this last night but it was too dark to take photos. A HUGE thank you to Karen Christie for weeding my rose garden and surrounds yesterday. You couldn’t see the garden bed prior to weeding and also to Sam for mowing the lawns again, bloody spring weather lol. Very much appreciated as I’m not allowed to do heavy manual labour at the moment.

1 Sept a

 

Day 132 Monday 1st September Part B

Big thank you to Robert for tuning my piano today.

Very happy with the results.

1 Sept b

Day 133 Tuesday 2nd September

Have you ever read a story that tears at the fabric of your sanity and for a moment in time, throws you into the past, rips at your gut, reduces you to a sobbing mess and leaves you stranded in the mists of memory?

Last night I read that story.

It was not my story, but in so many ways it was.

EVERY character was either me or someone I love or have loved, EVERY event happened at some point in my life. I held it together quite well during most of the book, I remembered, I laughed, I shed the odd tear, I got angry, I kept reading.

And then I lost it. Those who know me and have read the book will know the moment I am referring to; for those who don’t, it’s suffice to say that at that point in the story my heart broke and I sobbed like I haven’t done for years.

I finished reading and I reflected for a moment on what this story held for me and I realised that it wasn’t just the climax of the story that pushed me over the edge, it was the whole story. It was in so many ways my story and it hurt. But it also healed.

For a few hours I revisited a part of my past that I had never realised I needed to let go of, but in the same breath I revisited so many beautiful memories that I hadn’t thought of in a long time and I brought them home.

I miss the Yiayiathes of my youth and the amazing community of Greek, Italian and Maltese families that I grew up with; but I don’t miss the extraordinary sense of family that they instilled in me because I am surrounded by it each and every day in my own, very Australian family.

Thank you Jessica for leading me to this story and thank you Will for writing it.

Feeling truly blessed

“The First Third” by Will Kostakis

Woohoo, thank you from the author J

2 Sept a  2 Sept b

Day 134 Wednesday 3rd September

Today I am grateful for all the intuitive moments I have received today and I am grateful that I listened and acted.

3 Sept

Day 135 Thursday 4th September

My bad. I forgot to post yesterday

Life gets like that sometimes. You have all the best intentions in the world and then you don’t follow through.

It happens, I’m not perfect, and I’m perfectly ok with that. I spent far too many years trying to live up to standards that were impossible to achieve, and whenever I got close I’d push the bar higher so I always felt like I’d failed. These days I let myself reach the bar first, then if I choose, I push it further. I no longer let anyone else set the bar for me because it’s not their journey it’s mine.

Feeling grateful that I realise that xx

  • Jo Youre perfect to me Annie.

Annie Thank you. And so are you beautiful lady

Day 136 Friday 5th September

Today I’d like to share something about my beautiful fiancé Karen Christie

Karen works in Research and Development with the Tasmanian Institute of Agriculture. When we first met she told me that she is a Project Officer with TIA and pretty much left it at that. As time went by I started to find out a bit more.

Karen has had an amazing career and has just recently had her third, first author paper accepted for publishing. As well as being a published author, Karen also developed the Dairy Greenhouse gas Abatement Strategies (DGAS) calculator. Being of a rather humble nature, she is not inclined to promote herself very often so today I’m doing it for her.

Babe, I am extraordinarily proud of you!!!!

Congratulations on the acceptance of your latest work, I know it has been a long road and you have worked incredibly hard to get to this point. I just wish I could be in Cairns with you to see you present it to the scientific community.

You inspire me to keep going, to do my best, to remain humble.

I love you babe xxoo — with Karen Christie at University Of Tasmania Cradle Coast Campus.

5 September5 September a 5 September b 5 September c

Day 137 Saturday 6th September

I have never believed in coincidence. I believe that everything happens for a reason, it’s just that sometimes it’s hard to work out what that reason is when you’re smack bang in the middle of it. The past week has been full of messages that I am just starting to get my head around. Not sure what’s coming but I believe it’s a positive change. Feeling grateful for change xxoo

6 September

Day 138 Sunday 7th September

Happy Father’s Day, Dad. The look on his face when he opened Sarah’s present was priceless.

Love my daddy and so grateful for time spent together xxoo

7 September a7 September

Day 139 Monday 8th September

Just wondering lol

Anyway, it’s been an up and down day, literally.

I got up, I lay down, I got up again, and I lay down again.

Grateful I have tomorrow

8 September

Day 140 Tuesday 9th September

A bit of nostalgia today.

I came across this post last week and had a good laugh as I answered yes to every point. I remembered that when I was young I was convinced that I had belonged to the Fae prior to this life and I kept praying that they would come back and take me home.  I suppose it says a lot about my childhood lol. I did eventually learn to see the magic around me and I started to love this life as well but there will always be a part of me that is off with the faeries. Grateful for magic.

9 September

Day 141 Wednesday 10th September

Grateful for time spent with my gorgeous niece for her birthday. Happy birthday for tomorrow beautiful girl. We love you xxoo

Day 142 Thursday 11th September

Reminding myself to be grateful for all the beautiful gifts my Aspies have brought to my life. Some days I need to remember this because some days are just too bloody heart breaking.

11 September a 11 September11 September b

Day 143 Friday 12th September

I found this post today and had a good laugh. My old girl Mary is 20 years old, that’s about 140 in cat years. She’s deaf now, so tends to meow very loudly when she’s hungry and in the last few months her condition has started to deteriorate, but she’s still happy and the vet said she’s the only cat of her age that he’s ever seen that still had great teeth. Anyway, I thought I’d share this photo of her alongside the post I found and say, I’m extremely grateful we don’t have these floors. Firstly because it’s bloody awful and secondly because Mary wouldn’t have lasted this long. I’m sure we would have stepped on her years ago.

12 September b 12 September

Day 144 Saturday 13th September

I can’t believe I’ve never watched the Notebook?
I thought I got through it ok, just a few tears here and there.
And then it finished.
And then Karen gave me a cuddle.
And then I sobbed lol
Feeling grateful for tears, love that makes me capable of crying at the thought of losing it and hugs that reassure me that I am very, very loved. I’m going to miss you so much this week babe.

Day 145 Sunday 14th September

I like this idea
So tell me, If you are happy, what makes you happy? And if you’re not please keep reading.

14 September

Annie  I’m happy because today I bought a bird feeder and new plants for my garden

Louise What a beautiful idea

Annie  What makes you happy?

Elspeth Planning a holiday to visit friends.

Karen  Spending time with loved ones xxoo

Louise  Beautiful pictures in time  xxx

Louise Sitting outside on a beautiful day watching the world go by

Teresa  Watching my 2 children defend and emotionally support others…..and going on holidays overseas with friends or family

Annie  Your children rock. Miss you guys 💕💕

Teresa  We miss you my love. Hope we can see you soon. Xxxx

Day 146 Monday 15th September

Grateful that I can dream

 15 September

Day 147 Tuesday 16th September

I Run for Life

One of my favourite songs is, ‘I Run for Life’ by Melissa Etheridge.

It talks about her battle with cancer but for me it just talks about survival full stop.

A few years ago I thought nothing of walking and climbing mountains with a 25kg pack, splitting and stacking 5 metres of wood, felling trees and chucking 20kg feed bags on my shoulder. I ran, I walked, I climbed, I kayaked, I would spend hours in the garden and had no issues sitting on the edge of our two storey house to clean the gutters. In short, I was fit and healthy.

Now I struggle to get out of bed most days. They say I have a demyelinating disease but don’t know which one, I’ve put on weight again, my balance is crap, I’m smoking again, I’m constantly tired, I have little strength and now I’ve been informed I’m not allowed to lift more than 5kg, EVER!

Am I pissed off?
You betcha.
Am I going to let it stop me?
Not a hope in hell!!!!

The last few months I’ve been wallowing a bit (alright a lot) in self-pity. If I can’t do the things I love then what’s the point of doing anything?????

Right?

Wrong answer dear.

Over the last couple of days I’ve been giving some serious thought as to why I’m struggling with Uni this semester, again
I know I’ve been recovering from surgery and it’s been slow to say the least, but I know I’m also doing a lot of procrastinating.

I’m tired, it’s too hard, I can’t do it….
I beg your pardon????
Did I just hear the C word?
Since when did you EVER let anyone tell you that you can’t do something?

NEVER!!!!

You tell me I can’t and I’ll say, Yeah? Watch me!

So why am I listening to myself tell me something I would never accept from anyone else?

Because I’m scared?
Because I don’t know how to take it easy and slow down?
Because I hate being dependent on other people to do the things I’ve always done myself?
Because ending up like mum scares the living s%#$ out of me?

I don’t think so?

I listen to that voice because I’m a perfectionist and I’m scared this is a battle I won’t be able to fight. I’m scared my best won’t live up to my standards, at Uni and in life.

And that’s bulls%#&

I’ve met some amazing people in my travels and Facebook has introduced me to thousands more. Thousands of people who cope with illness, disability, pain and much more every day. Thousands of people who live their lives within the boundaries they’ve been given and to be honest, I’ve got nothing to complain about.

So today I’m setting myself a new challenge. 147 days of gratitude have taught me a lot about myself. Some things I’m very happy about, some not so good. But mostly, it has reminded me that I’m a fighter. Always have been, always will be. This is just a different challenge and I’m not about to quit on life just yet.

As of now…
• The self pity stops
• I make a serious commitment to quit smoking.
• I look for activities that I can do.
• I stop wishing my life away on a past I can’t regain.
• I embrace the life I have and be grateful for the opportunity to slow down.
• And if ever hear the C word come out of my head again I come back to this post and remind myself that I can.

Life is good

I may never Run for Life again but I certainly won’t be sitting on the couch watching it pass me by.

Maz Your amazing

Annie Nah I’m not but thank you. I’m still sitting on the couch atm lol
#coldoutside #procrastinating #startstomorrow

Maz Ahahaha.. But you have faith in yourself annie xx

Annie Thank you beautiful. It’s friends like you that have supported me on this journey and help me to believe in myself. You’re the ones who are amazing

Karen It will happen baby because I know you won’t stop till it does. This is just another speed bump which you have to get over

Day 148 Wednesday 17th September

Don’t I know it lol. Feeling very grateful today for shared wisdom from two beautiful women. Thank you Helen and Helen xx

17 Sept

Helen What a beautiful thing to say Annie! I was thinking the very same thing tonight! How truly blessed we are to have such unique and wonderful conversations and company at uni! It adds more value and comfort to my life than I can begin to express to you. Thanks so much for your wonderful contribution today too! X

Day 149 Thursday 18th September

“Imagine meeting someone who understood even the dustiest corners of your mixed-up soul”
I have.
And she has been away since Sunday and this has been the longest week ever. So grateful I’ve got you back safe and sound babe. I love you.

18 Sept

Extra to Jess.

Proud to say that my daughter is one of these gems. I’ve never forgotten attending the closing night of one of her school productions. As the drama teacher/director, one of Jess’s roles was to thank her students and hand out presentations. I can’t remember how many students were in that cast; what I do remember was that Jess spoke about each and every child that night. Who they were, what they had contributed to the production but more importantly, she spoke about the way each and every one of those kids had brought something very special to her life.
We were there for ages and I know some people were getting fidgety; presentations can be tedious at the best of times. But those of us who found the patience to really listen, walked away from that evening with a renewed sense of hope for our children. Having a teacher who really gets you, who takes time to care and listen, who is genuinely interested in who you are and what you want or need, is a blessing that will be treasured forever. I’m immensely proud of you Jess, stay strong, be true to yourself.

http://corkboardconnections.blogspot.com.au/2014/09/what-makes-parent-love-teacher.html

Day 150 Friday 19th September

So here I go again. 8.15pm, have thrown the last of my cigs in the fireplace. Determined and feeling grateful for another chance.

19 Sept

Day 151 Saturday 20th September

So grateful for all the wonderful authors who take me away on amazing journeys.

20 Sept

Day 152 Sunday 21st September

Grateful for the the people in my life who love me and appreciate my worth.

“Some days are easier than others. But no matter how today went for you, tonight rest gently, looking forward to another day and another chance to take a step or two in the direction of your heart’s desire”.

https://www.facebook.com/beginwithyes/photos/pb.328440176646.-2207520000.1414639440./10152464666591647/?type=3&theater

21 Sept

Day 153 Monday 22nd September

Today I came across a new app and have had a lot of fun/headaches lol creating this. Grateful that I found this, thanks Carla, it was your post of Tully that got me there

This one is for my beautiful lady Karen.
Love you babe xxoo
Heart and Soul Forever and Ever

If you click on the video it will open a link saying download file. This opens a full window as opposed to the flipagram link that only opens a small window.

‪#‎flipagram http://flipagram.com/f/J5ZVU57ZdX

Sarah Wow. I love it.

Annie Thanks Sarah, I hope Karen does too when she sees it tomorrow

Karen OMG baby. Thank you so much, words can’t describe how much I love you. You continue to amaze me every day and I know it will happen in it’s own time but I can’t wait to be your wife

Annie I know babe, soon

Day 154 Tuesday 23rd September

For the next 30 days I’m taking on a photo challenge, so I’m going to incorporate it into my gratitude posts.

‪#‎30DPC Day 1 – Self portrait

This photo was taken last week on my first day back in the pool. I’m hating the fact that I’m being limited on my activities but very grateful that it has got me back into swimming. I’d almost forgotten how much I love being in the water.

23 Sept a 23 Sept b

Day 155 Wednesday 24th September

#30DPC Day 2 – What you wore.

Today I will let Bob speak my gratitude for me. This quote sums up how I feel about Karen so well xx

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

― Bob Marley

24 Sept

Day 156 Thursday 25th September

‪#‎30DPC Day 3 Clouds
It’s a beautiful spring day so I had to pull an old photo for this one. I live in a beautiful part of the world and I’m very grateful for that.
Early morning photo taken from my back door xx

25 Sept

Day 157 Friday 26th September

‪#‎30DPC
Day 4 – Something green.

Thought I’d showcase some of the beautiful places in Tasmania today. These are all photos of places I’ve visited or where I live.

26 a 26 b 26 c 26 d 26 e 26 f 26 g 26 h 26 i

Day 158 Saturday 27th September

#‎30DPC Day 5 After Dark

One of my fondest memories of scouting was the campfires at night. We would sit around and yarn, sing songs, toast marshmallows and damper and laugh so much I sometimes cried. I made some wonderful friends over the seven years I was a leader and I miss those people and the kids we worked with, more than they realise.

27 Sept

Day 159 Sunday 28th September

‪#‎30DPC Day 6 Obsession
So most of you know I’m a reader. What you may not know is I’m a little obsessive about it. I’m currently compiling my book list on Goodreads in an attempt to work out how many books I’ve read over the years. I have a long way to go yet. My owned list is currently over 500, I’m still scanning them in; my read list, God only knows???
I’m not sure why I’m so obsessed with working out how many books I’ve read lol but I suppose it could be worse
‪#‎books
‪#‎OCD
‪#‎Aspergers
‪#‎HandyForInsuranceLOL

Day 160 Monday 29th September

‪#‎30DPC Day 7 Changes to come

What can I say???? So many new things to look forward to over the coming years. Life is wonderful xxoo

29a 29b 29d 29e 29f 29g

Day 161 Tuesday 30th September

‪#‎30DPC Day 8 Routine

A routine day in Tasmania, not feeling the love today.
‪#‎flu

30 Sept